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Sometimes, I just want to be alone and put a full stop to everything that's hurting me. xx

Life Lessons

Hellooo peeps ♥

Was supposed to go out for a project meeting today but ended up not going, no thanks to my deteriorating health >:( But thank God it's all okay now ^^

Today's just a day of resting at home and pondering over life and thinking through everything that has happened to me, especially through Secondary School life, where I learnt about many things the hard way. Hahaha. I guess in life shit happens and there's really little (or nothing) we can do to stop shits from happening. Like..

1. NO ONE WILL KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE THINKING IF YOU DON'T VOICE IT OUT.

I think that's pretty self-explanatory. We all watch dramas and read books and get a little too connected with them and we think that our real-life friends or romantic partners are going to magically figure out what is going on in our tiny heads when we don't say anything. BUT FACE IT, IT DOESN'T HAPPEN ALL THE TIME. Note, not all the time, because there are still some people who are like the worms in your stomach, and they are able to know what you are thinking without even uttering a single word. But not everyone is like that. Even when you go to the clinic you'll have to tell the doctor where you're hurting before he can help you. So point to note, if you don't want to take the initiative to tell people what you are thinking, then don't blame them for not being able to sense your problems. And the same thing applies, if you are dying to know something, ASK FOR IT. Your answers won't just appear in your dreams if you don't ask.

SO? SPEAK UP. IF YOU FEEL PAIN, IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO KNOW SOMETHING, FREAKING SAY IT.

2. NO ONE'S A SAINT, EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. ACCEPT IT.

Admit it, whether you're that top student in class, whether you're the pop kid that everyone idolizes and tries to make friends with, whether you're the most good-looking person in school, YOU MAKE MISTAKES. But something to comfort you a little is that, EVERYONE ELSE DOES TOO. It's perfectly alright to make mistakes, and you don't have to beat yourself up for it. Even the seemingly perfect and successful Mark Zuckerberg was a school dropout. He didn't have it easy from the start. No one did. We all fall at times, we all fail at something, we all cry when things get too tiring and tough, we all feel left out sometimes, and WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. But as scary as it seems, mistakes aren't really ugly. They are the fundamentals for learning. If you don't make mistakes, you won't learn to apologise, you won't learn to avoid making the same silly mistake. Mistakes = learning. ^^

DON'T BE AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES. THEY MOULD YOUR LEARNING.

3. SOMETIMES YOU DON'T REALISE THE POWER OF YOUR WORDS UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE.

Many a time, people tend to be straightforward, and say things that are crucially hurting, but without any realization of it. They just keep spilling ugly things to people, and only realise what it really meant for the receiving party when they get the effect of the words they are being hurled at. And then they regret. They regret when it's too late. When you have the chance to be able to talk to someone, think about it, would it hurt to say something nice instead of something negative to the person? Say YOU'RE PRETTY instead of YOU LOOK UGLY. Say YOU'RE GORGEOUS instead of YOU'RE FAT. Say THE RIGHT ONE WILL COME instead of NO ONE WANTS YOU. Say WORK HARDER instead of YOU'RE DOOMED FOR FAILURE. Is it really that hard? Would you lose a piece of your skin if you say that? Would you die if you say that? Would anything bad happen to you if you were to be nice to someone? HELL NO. So the next time you see someone you always bully, try to say something nice to them, and you'll realise that you actually feel better that way, than saying all the ugly things you've been saying to them all these while. I remember watching an inspirational video months ago, and the main guy in that video said that a male student had been bullied in his school for months, and he was just on his way to suicide when the main guy gave him a big hug and said YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. Just that 2 simple words, and that stopped the guy from committing suicide. Do you realize how powerful words can be? They can either save a life, or take it away.

IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY, THEN SAY NOTHING AT ALL.

4. EVERYONE FEELS INSIGNIFICANT ONE DAY OR ANOTHER.

Everyone has those days where they feel like their coffee is more bitter, their hair just curls up the opposite of the way they want, their shirt just looks more crumpled, people are giving them more stares and THE WHOLE WORLD JUST SEEMS LIKE IT'S AGAINST YOU AND YOU'RE BETTER OFF DEAD. But, all you have to know it that it's just a bad day, and a bad day doesn't really last for more than 24 hours. Face up to it, IF YOU DIE, THE EARTH WOULD STILL BE REVOLVING AROUND THE SUN, THAT AUNTIE AT THE HAWKER STALL WOULD STILL BE SELLING HER CHICKEN RICE AND THAT TINY ANT CRAWLING AROUND YOUR HOUSE FLOOR WOULD STILL BE DOING SO. Nothing much would change, just that your friends would probably blame themselves for not being able to stop you, your family members would probably cry their eyes out, and their lives would probably change forever. NO ONE IS INSIGNIFICANT TO EVERYONE. We're all special beings to someone out there and there's someone important to us. So don't treat your life lightly. Your life may be yours, but the aftereffects of your death isn't just your corpse, it comes with the hurt of many other people out there.

LIFE IS PRECIOUS.

5. FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET.

When someone hurts you: CRY > GET OVER IT > LEARN > STOP CRYING > REMEMBER.

People may hurl all the nasty things to you when they are mad, and you can forgive them for that, but what an angry man says is always his true inner thoughts.

BECAUSE FORGETTING THEIR UNKIND ACTS GIVES THEM ANOTHER CHANCE TO HURT YOU.

♥♥♥

Hahaha was just reading through Tumblr and suddenly felt like doing up a short post on what I felt was pretty relatable. And before I end off, one final point:

6. WHEN YOU CARE ABOUT PEOPLE, HURT IS KINDA PART OF THE PACKAGE.

Yes I know I'm just basically typing out the text in the picture but just trying to emphasize the point. When you let someone into your life, and decide to make them important, you are giving them the authority to hurt you and cause you pain. You will smile when you see this person being happy. You will feel sad when you see this person cry. And when this person decide to betray and hurt you, YOU WILL FEEL PAIN IN YOUR HEART. Okay not literally but maybe metaphorically. It sucks to have someone important in your life to hurt you. But...

SINCE YOU WON'T KNOW WHEN THAT SOMEONE WILL HURT YOU, CHOOSE WISELY WHO YOU LET INTO YOUR WORLD AND HEART ♥

The Fault In Our Stars ♥

Hello Earthlings ♥

Today's back to school with burden Accounting lecture for a start, followed by project meetups with the group mates. I know Accounting is important and all but I swear I always lose concentration when it comes to this module.. Or basically any other module which requires calculation and all that shit. So we were supposed to have Acc lecture from 9 to 11 and simultaneously, Acc tutorial for 11 to 1 CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? But THANK GOD Accounting tutorial has been postponed to tomorrow. Okay not like it's something particularly enjoyable for me but at least not 4 hours of Acc in a day. Accounting seriously sucks like shit ugh. (Kudos to all the Accountants out there who are doing their job and earning big bucks. I salute you.)

Project meeting went quite smooth as usual cause I've got the best group mates (Woohoo thick-skin abit HAHAHA) but seriously I think we just do work well at our own pace. In the blink of an eye our meetup was over and it was time for HJM's movie date ♥ The Fault In Our Stars (TFIOS) YAY ♥♥

♥♥♥

My thoughts on TFIOS.. (Spoilers may be included so don't read if you haven't watched lol)

Okay so honestly, before watching the show, I had heard really bad reviews about the movie like how it's just a movie without a proper storyline, or how far it deviates from the actual storybook, and how the movie is just your regular tear-jerker with the scenes that are highly dramatic and predictable. For me, I personally love sad romance movies alot. NOT BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME CRY, but because they are kinda surreal and brings out what you can't really see in real-life relationships nowadays. I MEAN SERIOUSLY NO ONE WOULD BRING ME TO AMSTERDAM JUST BECAUSE I WANNA VISIT AN AUTHOR TO GET THE ENDING OF A STORYBOOK WITH A CLIFF-HANGER ENDING. I personally thought that TFIOS was really nice, WITH A DECENT STORYLINE, PERIOD. The storyline talks about how 2 star-crossed lovers fighting with cancers of their own met, got together, the process of their beautiful relationship and sadly. how they ended. The leads in the movie were well-casted and acted well, although Ansel Elgort looked like he had a hard time trying to fit into those teary-eyed scenes.. Shailene Woodley, on the other hand, did an awesome job on crying just at the right time with the right amount of sadness that brings sadness straight into your heart, or at least that's how she made me feel when I watched the movie. Seeing her cry when Augustus died (YES HE DIED BOOHOO CRY PEOPLE) was really a scene hard for me to take in because her acting was superb. THUMBS UP TO SHAILENE ♥ But of course, like all movies there are bound to be some parts when you don't get what the movie is trying to portray or why the storyline bends in a certain way and what I really don't get is WHY DOES HAZEL GET SO AGITATED AT TIMES JUST BECAUSE OF THE ENDING OF A STORYBOOK??? I mean, I get the feels when reading a good storybook and then it ends with a cliff-hanger and I'm left there feeling like a part of me is missing. I REALLY DO FEEL THAT. But I won't travel all the way overseas to a faraway country or state just to hear the ending and flare up at the author just because he's a seriously deranged douchebag LOL. Some over-reacting scenes there that I couldn't and probably won't ever apprehend the situation she was in or the emotions she was feeling LOL. And it gets pretty frustrating because when I watch a movie all the emotions just comes naturally like in PEE MAK, Mak's friends find out that Nak is a ghost, and they get scared. I FEEL THAT. And in TWILIGHT SERIES: NEW MOON, Edward leaves Bella because he doesn't want her to get killed given the situation she is in, and Bella cries and tries to hurt herself in order to get to see Edward. I FEEL THAT. But I DON'T FEEL WHY HAZEL GETS SO PISSED AT THE AUTHOR LOL. Okay and another point to note, not really negatively but weirdly, because I'm an avid fan of Divergent, and I've actually watched it 5 times, it feels kinda weird watching Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort together.. I mean they look totally cute and all but I still feel Shailene and Theo James would make a sweeter couple. ♥♥

Okay so that's all for my review lol. All in all, I'll give this movie a 4/5 because it doesn't disappoint. Really. A nice movie to watch, whether you're watching it with your friends to have a crying session, holding your other half's hands while watching, or just wanna watch it alone in the theatre and just let loose your tears :D

♥♥♥

Back to my daily life, so what I've been doing these few days was actually spending the whole time watching Wedding Proposals on Youtube and Facebook and there are so many sweet couples out there. ♥♥♥ Makes me feel more sure that a Wedding Planner is what I want as my dream job in future. And the future for me into the workforce isn't really far from now hahahaha. So this is one of the proposals which I thought was really sweet, the video was really well-made, even though there were some really "lame" moments. The music, though classical, was really well-incorporated and I CRY EVERY SINGLE TIME I WATCH THIS PROPOSAL. EVERY SINGLE TIME. TOO BEAUTIFUL, honestly speaking. Go watch it! ^^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUdXTnhHSec&feature=share

The male lead in this proposal is called Visoth Sal and basically their love story is one that started in uni life, and they both get smitten and infatuated with one another, and meeting each other's parents, friends, and then travelling together. Eventually the guy had to go to Phnom Penh and their relationship became a long-distance relationship. And eventually the guy asked the girl for a break-up because he didn't want her to waste her youth waiting for him. BUT OF COURSE neither of them had any intentions to let go of one another, and they eventually reunited because the guy took the courage to initiate a convo which got them back together. HOW SWEET IS THAT. ♥ Being far apart sucks but if both parties give and take, everything will turn out well. They are such a pretty and cute couple hehehehehe.

So that's all for now hohoho. Till the next time! ♥ GUNAI EARTHLINGS ♥

Dreams

Hello ^^ Back to blogging after a hectic week of project meetsups and whatnot. Time flies so fast when I'm busy and I just realised that June is soon coming to an end. Everything really flies fast once you're approaching the "Adult" stage. Hoho.

So... The big word, "Dreams". Everyone has them. They say that our dreams often change as we grow, and I'll say that's pretty true to a certain extent because my dreams changed at least thrice. Haha, and it ranges from those fantasy-like ones to those realistic ones.

The very first time I actually thought about my future and possible career path I might be walking down, was when I was around the age of 7. I'd wanted to be a teacher, and I remember taking out all my previous exercise books and just spend my time happily marking them like as if I was a student. I even forced my mum and dad to be students just so I could fulfil my bouts of daydreaming being a teacher.

Then at the age of 11, I had my first music competition, which required me and my friends to listen to a song and then perform them in front of our music teacher. That's when I got my first contact with music and actually listening and learning about them. And the song I sang was an old-school song from 5566. It was 守候 if I'm not wrong, and that song still gives me goosebumps when I listen to it. Haha! That's when my dreams of becoming a teacher turned into being a singer. I remember becoming so obsessed with singing that I started buying MP3 players, discman (a device which we use to listen to music by inserting a music CD into it), and buying albums from various Mandopop singers and singing them all day and all night. That dream of me becoming a singer got pretty serious and lasted for quite a few years. HAHA. But too bad, I only loved singing, but it wasn't something I could do well. ><

When I went into ITE, I got into the Leisure and Travel Operations course, and my dream career changed to becoming a tour guide. My dream throughout the 2 years in ITE was to travel around the world and getting as much exposure as I could, and meeting new people from all over the world. By then I had already been to various countries like Australia, Malaysia, China and Taiwan, but I wanted to visit more countries like Venice, Maldives, and Korea. Just the thought of flying around and meeting new people made me feel excited and happy. Being on a plane always makes me happy because I know I'm going to get to enjoy a whole new environment from the moment I land.

After ITE, I continued my studies in TP, and now my dream is to either become a wedding planner and open up a wedding company, or to work in the cruise business. 

Imagining being able to help happy and anticipating couples pave their way through their marriage and help them to plan every part of their wedding. Isn't it wonderful? Hehe. Excited just at the thought of it.

I hope this dream of mine won't change soon. Hope to get a chance to work at a wedding company soon hehehe. Goodnight people! 

Change.

Got motivated to blog since it's been a good 5 months plus since I last blogged. HAHA.

Okay, so, CHANGE. Change is scary, it's unpredictable, it's unappealing for people who are used to living inside their protective bubble, and it certainly is INEVITABLE. Change happens all the time, and more often than not, it marks certain milestones for us in our lives. And when you can't avoid change, well, you just gotta learn to accept and live with it.

Throughout our lives, we experience changes in almost every aspect of the life journey. Our schools change, our friends change, our furniture change, our hair change, our... (YOU GET THE POINT) But what scares me the most is when PEOPLE CHANGE. I'll be upfront and honest, CHANGE REALLY SCARES ME.

I don't know whether it's a Capricorn thing or what but when I get into a situation, I try to get myself familiarized with the situation and I hate having to leave a place where I'm so comfortable to a place where I don't know anyone or don't know how to do anything.

And in 2014, there has been a few changes which I'm being forced to go through, like having my classmates split up into different classes, having to get used to things that I may not necessarily like, trying to juggle more projects on-hand, and watching someone close to me travel to a place far away from me. ><

I understand change but I'll never like it. I've seen how friendships torn, couples broken up, families strained all because of the word 'Change'. There's a saying that goes, "Don't be afraid of change. You may lose something good but you may end up with something better." WHAT IF I DON'T? Change is so scary because it doesn't happen overnight, it happens over time. It happens when people stop making efforts, it happens when friends stop texting one another. :( And I know I'm gonna experience more changes in my life just few months or years later like, getting to work under internship, getting out of poly and work, paying my own bills, buying my own house, living my own life without my family.

This is why I try not to get too close to anyone in life because when they change, I'll beat myself up for letting them in through the door and the disgusting cycle repeats. :'(

I'm scared of change especially when it brings people away from me. 
Can you promise not to change?

I JUST HATE CHANGE I HATE IT KTHANKSBYE.