Few more days and it will be a new year. In 2012, I've gained and lost so many things. But I'm feeling fortunate because I know I've gotten more than I've lost.
After 2012 comes to an end, 2013 will start and then soon it will mark the end of my attachment. I'm really not sure about what follows after that, work in the sales line and try to work my way up to a higher position? Continue working with Farmosa and become a permanent staff and then work my way up to become a tour guide? Continue poly life and get a diploma, try to get into a psychology course even thought there's near 0% chances of me being able to go in there? I don't know. It is high time that I should start planning for my future, but yet I'm still stuck childishly in so many things that are or have already happened in my life. I just want to hurry up and grow up from all these.
I just feel like thanking everyone who have been there for me when I needed them the most.
ACE, my clique in ITE. They've shown and taught me many life lessons which I probably can't learn from anyone else. I love being around them because well, basically I just love knowledgeable people, and they are always knowledgeable about so many things. Beauty, health, school, and the list goes on. They've always been there for me when I need them, and they never stopped showering me with advices and nonsensical jokes. I always feel elated when I'm making or planning surprises for them, because I know they'll appreciate every single thing I do. Making them a part of my life was probably the rightest decision I've made in ITE. At times when I feel so insignificant in the world, they make me feel that I'm not alone, and that I can count on them on everything. When I had no one to turn to, they accepted me into their clique and treated me like how they treat each other. And when I was feeling all alone in Taiwan, keeping quiet, they knew what was on my mind and heart, and they always know the right things to say. They are just that awesome. Hopefully everything goes smooth-sailing for them. I hope they will stay close friends to me after years because they're too dear to me and I can't afford losing these people.
Chia Lee, a good friend of mine. We've known each other since the start of ITE and we always share so many freaky coincidences. The same phone model we first used, the same poly our ex-es are schooling at, the same type of fringe we like, the same thoughts we have and the list goes on. Since we've gotten close I remember always calling her my 'twin', and we're always seen doing crazy things together, and saying silly things. *laughs* But like people say, even the best falls sometimes. We've had a couple of misunderstandings and I'm really glad we managed to overcome them, and become good friends like we are now. I'm thankful for a friend like her because she seems to understand whatever feelings I have and never fail to cheer me up. Even right now, we are somehow in the same predicament. Dear God above, this girl here trusts you a lot and always turns to you for comfort, please help her tide through this tough period until a few weeks later. She's a nice person and deserves to be surrounded with better people. Let better things come for her after this period.
Felicia, a friend I made through Facebook and Twitter. Who says internet friends can't be trusted or long-lasting? We've known each other for a year plus and met up a few times. And until now I never thought that making this friend was in any way, a bad decision. She has been there for me when I need to rant about stuffs, and I'm glad to be there for her when she needs someone too. She's an awesome friend to be around with and I hope God will help her tide through this hard time as well. Girl, you deserve much better. Even though things are not looking good now, keep telling yourself they WILL one day, improve. Hang in there! A new year is coming.
Eileen, I never really thanked her before but now I am going to because I know when I had no one, literally no one, she was there for me. And I'd like to thank her for it. She's a nice girl, with a good atitude. Hopefully she will meet better friends and grow up. ^^ Thank you for being there for me girl.
Suzs, as she likes to be called, thanks for being there for me too. :') She never fails to annoy me whenever I'm feeling down, but I know she just wants to crack me up. I'm really thankful for having a goofy friend like her.
There's so many people I need to give thanks to but especially to these people above because they really gave me strength in this year, and I really felt the need to single them out and give thanks.
Right now the seconds are ticking and it's getting sooner and sooner to the new year. I'm really, really NOT looking forward to it. It's the time where people are celebrating and preparing for the Chinese New Year. Sometimes people ask me why I'm unhappy, is it because I think the world is ending? No, obviously. There's just this feeling that comes over me whenever I think of the new year. HIM. I miss him. Years passed and I still miss him. People say you never get over your first whatever, and yes, I totally understand that. You were my first everything, first visit to polyclinic, first this and that. Why I'm not looking forward to the new year is because, I'll think of his message. The first time he said "I love you" dearly to me was on a 1st Jan. Tell me, how can I forget someone who once meant so much? I don't know how, honestly. I guess you're just one of the things I can only TRY to keep my feelings deep inside for. Not forget. Sigh.